Knowing Me, Knowing You

I have a question. How well do you know yourself? Or rather how well can you know yourself?

Take me for an example, i think i know myself but truth is, I don’t know myself at all! I can be such a paradox, a living oxymoron. Sometimes I’m passionate, sometimes indifferent. Next, I think I’m smart, but end up making the most foolish decisions later. At times, I’m full of faith, and the next moment, threaten to leave God. In control, lose control. At peace, worries my head off. Likes this, hates that. Says this, does that. And the list of my contradictory and capricious behaviors continue.

We can be so unpredictable. So… ever changing. And how can we possibly say we know ourselves when we can’t even imagine what kind of person we will be tomorrow? Yes, we know ourselves from the present and past tense but tomorrow? Who will we be tomorrow?

In this life-long quest of finding our identity, I’ve known a lot of friends who have “changed,” detoured and sidelined from the person I’ve “known” them to be (note that I’m using these terms loosely simply because I may not even know who they really are in the first place) because they were trying to assume the identity of those (good or bad) around them. We imitate, duplicate, replicate. As the old saying goes, “Monkey see, monkey do.” But see, that’s the problem. Imitating limited human beings is as good as duplicating a pirated VCD (think substandard, blurry movies, choppy audio, with silhouettes of people’s head in view). That makes us as good as pirated imitations, I guess.

“Imitate me, just as I also imitate Christ” – 1 Corinthians 11:1

The Bible tells us to imitate Christ. And here I am talking about discovering ourselves. How ironic! How can we possibly discover our identities by imitating Him?

I don’t think the Bible is just asking us to merely imitate Christ’s appearance, actions and conduct as a person. I believe this scripture calls for a time of soul-searching, if our hearts (our very essence) and desires (our life’s purpose) reflect God’s. We are created in His image, as His reflection after all. What else are we supposed to do other than to reflect Him and to resonate with what matters in His heart? To do anything else is really likened to a broken mirror that reflects a different image than what is shown! How frustrating it must be for that mirror when it fails to serve the very purpose it was created for! Maybe that’s why sometimes we’re so frustrated with our lives. Maybe.

In my humble opinion, this is our identity: a holistic reflection of Christ in all aspects of life and chasers of what’s in His heart (in our work, in our lives, in our families, in our ministry, in the goals and focuses of our lives, in our dreams and aspirations). A life that is full is a life that has experienced the fulfillment of His purpose here in this existence.

From now on, this shall very well be my life mantra, “The more I know Christ, the more I know myself. The more I reflect Christ, the more I serve my purpose.”