The Art of Driving, Drifting, Screaming, Spinning and Laughing at the Same Time

You hear that saying all the time that when you’re about to die, you see your whole life flashing through your mind in a split second. Well, not for me. I only saw spinning roads and car headlights.

As usual, I was driving back home from work using the Desaria road to avoid the toll. My colleague, Mr Chun Chow, was following behind me as I was introducing him to a nice place to eat near our place. I was quite hungry and I was driving at my usual speed (which can be quite fast) but I forgot it was raining (yes, sometimes I drive in autopilot mode without my brain even functioning). So, I was driving at my usual speed (I repeat, which can be quite fast), the road is wet and slippery, there is a sharp curve ahead, my mind was in autopilot… well, you can roughly guess what was going to happen next.

According to Mr Chun Chow, he thought I was drifting and he was quite impressed actually (I drive a Kancil, the smallest but cutest car in the world). Until he saw my car spinning, that is.

Alright, now just imagine the scene changing immediately (like in a movie) to me inside my car. The scene starts with a black screen and the lingering sound effect of an unbearable pitchy noise, with the camera slowly zooming out to what seems like a throat and finally showing the image of me screaming my lungs out, holding on to my steering wheel like a barnacle to the pillar of a jetty, with the car spinning in slow motion. And there and then, you are reminded of the merry-go-round that you used to ride when you were a child, only faster, say, like 70km/h.

I thought I was going to die.

And then the adrenaline-pumping merry-go-round session stopped. Only a few inches away, there was a drain which was big enough for my Kancil to drop into (the pitchy sound effect has not ended, I was still screaming). My car had turned 180 degrees, now facing the bewildered cars that were coming in my direction.

I made a u-turn, came out (I’ve stopped screaming by then) to check on my car and see if it’s ok, went in again and laughed my lungs out, thinking “That was way too cool! Let’s do it again!!!” and “Hallelujah! Thank God I’m alive!!!”

Over dinner, I requested Mr Chun Chow to record a video of me in action should I be caught doing that in public again.

I want to thank God for giving me such an amazing, undiscovered and life-saving talent. I want to thank my mother and father for teaching me how to step on the brakes with all my heart, mind, soul and strength when I want my car to stop whatever it’s doing. I want to thank my driving instructor for never warning me that this might happen if I drive fast on slippery roads whilst making sharp curves or I never would have the privilege to experience this exhilarating joyride. I also want to take this opportunity to thank my beloved, horizontally challenged mechanic. Where would I be today without you and your constant nagging of changing my brake oils and tyres? As for all my friends out there, you know who you are. You rock.

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